Dealing with the issue of Aging Parents

I am writing this in response to an article published in the Mercury News titled "Savvy Senior: Elder mediation can help adult families resolve conflicts"

How you deal with the issue of aging parents has a lot to do with the way you were raised. As kids do you remember having dinner with grandparents? Visiting with them at their home? Watching your parents interact with them? Was there respect shown the grandparents? Many cultures revere their elders and gain tremendous insight into many wonderful things through them. But when respect and reverence are absent resentment and anger tend to show their ugly face. Solutions exist before the first salvo is fired, making mediation the choice of last resort.

Money matters among other things, as we have read, bring out the worst in people. The expenses associated with maintaining an independent and dignified lifestyle are enormous.. Insurance and medical costs have gone through the roof. Parents and adult children find themselves in a very stressful situation, as each worries about how they will manage in retirement.

Mom and Dad are living longer and are going through their savings fast, Most Boomers want to be able to help in some way. But they worry about their own retirement. They fret and fight amongst themselves over whether they can or should help out their parents if the need arises, as in the case of a parent having to enter an assisted living facility or a nursing home. Sadly, there have been instances reported where their kids have had to sell off jewelry and other possessions to pay for more time in a facility. From here the frustration and resentment continue to mount.

Boomers who were fortunate enough to have had positive family role models in their youth usually show a strong willingness and a certain calmness when faced with being put in the role of caregiver. Not so much for those whose memories of family time in their childhood were less positive … love, compassion, and tolerance are learned. We all have the capacity to acquire them. We just need better role models.

• How willing are you to give of your time if your parents need you? 
• Sibling rivalry in adulthood can be as intense in this scenario as it was in your youth?
• Who's going to take charge of your parents' finances to make sure their needs are met?
• Which of you is nearest Mom and Dad to check up on them if they're still living on their own? Chances are one of you is going to feel put out.
• On whom does the responsibility fall to be the primary caregiver in old age?

The need for greater involvement of one's family in the care of loved ones in later years has never been presented with this much clarity. The government wants you to participate more; heck they're willing to pay you to stay home with Mom/Dad instead of Medicare and Medicaid picking up the tab at a much higher cost. Unless you have a plan to implement to get you through some of these tough times, expect chaos, apathy and total resentment from your siblings.

The last thing any parent wants to see is their kids miserable. Even if you weren't lucky enough to have great role models growing up, there are things you can do to make the transition to caregiver an enjoyable one. Start by meeting with an attorney to map out how your parents will be cared for as they age; he/she will help determine who among you is best equipped (emotionally and financially) to act on behalf of the parents; as well as who gets what when the parents pass. Long-term life-care insurance should be purchased in your 30s, 40s and 50s; any later and it is cost prohibitive. Insurance companies are also looking into insurance policies that let you age-in-place at home by paying for modifications to your house. And there are communities in suburban areas popping up where neighbors share various expenses, making aging-in-place more affordable. Concierge programs and services exist that can help you plan and assist with all your health and wellness needs.

Do you have concerns about taking care of your aging parents?  We'd love to hear from you with any questions or comments that you might have.

Financial Hurdles of Aging

There's no getting around it, aging is very expensive! Hard fact: Tens of millions of Boomers are stressing out over caring for their parents while at the same time trying to map out a course for themselves for the day they lose their independence. We have officially entered a Tsunami of Seniors. But there is hope.

We're living longer and paying for increased medical procedures. We also have to place parents in assisted living facilities for special care, where they go through their life's savings quickly. The fastest growing segment of the aging population is the 85 group. As was pointed out by many of you in your comments, Medicare and Medicaid may not be able to handle the demand placed on them. Signs of problems manifested over a decade ago when Florida and Tennessee put a moratorium on the construction of nursing homes; they had simply begun to run out of money to pay for the care of the elderly. Somehow the rapid growth of the senior population fell under their radar. Further cuts to both programs will take shape by 2012, as Congress tries to balance the national budget.

Suffice it to say a greater burden will be placed on families to take care of their own. So much for parents not wanting to be a burden to their kids or to be an inconvenience to friends.

It's been reported in the various media time and again that compared with their parents' generation, Boomers have amassed significantly greater wealth. It's fair to say, in light of current economic hardships placed on them, they will now have to strike a balance between the dream of a fun, relaxed lifestyle and the changing realities that aging has brought to the landscape.

The government has incentives for families that decide to take in loved ones who would otherwise be placed in a nursing home. It is significantly less expensive to write a monthly check to the family than to pay for the 24/7 care provided at a nursing home.

Other new concepts in senior living are also emerging. In the planning stages in Florida is a village where seniors live on their own in lushly landscaped suburban communities and are able bundle all expenses at discounted rates with their neighbors. This would include doctor visits, transportation, entertainment, etc. Homes are Universally designed and technologically enhanced so residents can age safely, worry-free in a 21st Century approach to senior living.

Less costly alternatives to assisted living and nursing homes exist. Concierge programs and services allow you to live independently in your own home through technological innovations that make it possible to stay connected to loved ones and friends.

Long-term care insurance providers are also taking a fresh new look at selling policies that will help pay for expenses related to aging. If purchased by people in their 30s and 40s the costs would be very reasonable. Let's all try to be better prepared for the second half of our lives.

Any Questions or Comments?  
Our panel of experts will answer all questions, from the government's role in taking care of seniors to family and sources to help make the transition. Email us or use the comment section below.

Melons Stand Out As Produce Safety Problem - Senior Citizens are at increased risk if infected with Samonella bacteria

Here's an article that will have you thinking twice before purchasing melons, cantaloupe in particular. They recommend selecting melons carefully, using gloves or hand sanitizer after touching them, and putting them in a plastic bag at the grocery store (so they won't possibly contaminate any other food items). Once home you should wash the melon in warm water (not cold) or soak it in vegetable wash or bleach solution. The article further explains what to do after that, and states "But in reality, if the melon has been exposed to Salmonella, you will likely not be able to remove it completely, whatever the cleaning method."

Senior citizens, infants, and people with weakened immune systems are at increased risk for serious illness if they are infected with salmonella bacteria.

Read the article


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How childless adults should approach their later years

There is an article in the New York Times "New Old Age" blog called "Aging Without Children" that discusses the topic of how childless adults should approach their later years. Here's my thoughts on this matter.

Significant challenges loom for the tens of million Boomers worried about their wellness as they enter the second half of their lives this year. Many of us are very proactive and have at least some idea how we'll handle aging. Some of us have paid little or no mind to the inevitable.

Some plan to move to be near their adult children in case of a health issue. But what about those with no children?

Consider yourself fortunate if you have family and friends in your life on whom you can rely for assistance should you need it. If you're healthy and wealthy, you'll embrace aging and continue to do as many of the things you love unencumbered: workouts, skiing, biking, sailing, tennis, golf and so on.

When family and friends are not immediately available, consider the next best thing: concierge wellness services and programs to get rid of the angst. These programs, combined with modifications to your home to make it safe and accessible, can save you money in the long run when compared to the rising costs of assisted living facilities.

You can read the New York Times blog post here.

Senior Citizen Alert: Fake Prescription Drugs

Most seniors get their prescription medications at their local, licensed pharmacy, but the scammers are finding ways to sell counterfeit drugs through legitimate supply chains.  As a result, even some real pharmacies may end up unwittingly selling fake drugs.  Counterfeit drugs are typically sold on the internet, where seniors are going more and more to get better prices on their medications.  This particular scam is quickly becoming more common, prompting the FDA to investigate on average 20 such cases per year, which is a 400% increase since 1990s.  The resulting danger is two-fold: unsuspecting seniors end up not only paying for medications that will likely not help their medical condition, but they may also be purchasing unsafe substances that can cause harm to an ailing person.  This is a scam that can be detrimental to the body and the purse!

Use this pill identification tool to identify your pill or medication.

Seniors want to age with dignity and be near loved ones

Saw a recent article in MoneyLife Magazine "Retirement home: Urgent need for Supervision" which inspired me to write today's blog post.

Let's start with a very simple, yet powerful statement: "Seniors want to age with dignity and be near loved ones." This statement has universal application, no matter the culture, no matter the race. Many have saved for this eventuality; others simply don't have the $50,000 to $100,000 per year to pay for care at a quality seniors community.

Even in the United States, the government is experiencing difficulties reconciling the needs of a rapidly aging population. With budget cutbacks a daily occurrence, families find themselves taking on greater responsibility and picking up the tab for their parents' care.

In the United States, approximately 85% of seniors would rather get old in their own home and be near their families. They know how costly it is to go into a seniors campus. For many, these environments are also too restrictive. They have to eat, sleep and participate in activities in a very regimented manner, which they may feel hinders their independence. Often times seniors not prepared for this type of lifestyle don't fare well mentally and physically. And there's always the worry the facility will go out of business. So growing old in one's own home sometimes makes the most practical and economic sense. However. seniors who seem to benefit from being in seniors settings are those who've lost a spouse and need the structure of a seniors' community. They are able to make friends quickly and partake in a host of activities.

Alternatives to seniors' communities are available, however, that allow the senior to age with dignity in a safe environment right in their home, and lets them stay connected with loved ones. This alternative to seniors communities lets you save tens of thousands of dollars.

Universal Design, where the home is retrofitted to accommodate seniors' physical limitations, together with the availability of concierge services that address their wellness/medical needs, make staying at home possible.

You can read the original article from MoneyLife Magazine here.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Advice for Senior Citizens on Getting a Good Night's Sleep

How much sleep is enough?

Contrary to common belief, the amount of sleep you need does not change as you get older. According to research from West Virginia University on sleep, seven hours of sleep is the magic number in order to avoid an increased risk for heart disease and stroke. People who get less than 6 hours of sleep per night have a 48% higher risk of heart disease and a 15 percent increased risk of stroke, because lack of sleep produces chemicals in the body that increases those risks.

Napping also provides protective benefits. Overall, the quality of sleep is an important factor as to how much sleep a person needs. The seven hours of sleep rule does not apply to people who suffer from sleep apnea.

Here are some tips to improve your sleep:

• Try to go to bed and wake up at the same times every day.
• Do not exercise within six hours of your bedtime.
• Try to get some sunlight in the afternoon or evening. Even opening the curtains will help. The trick is for your eyes to see the light because your eyes send the signals that your brain uses to set your body clock.
• If you nap, get your naps in before 3pm.
• Do not have any caffeine after lunchtime.
• You should not have any alcohol within six hours of your bedtime.
• Balance your fluid intake by drinking enough water or other fluids at night to keep you from waking up thirsty, but not so much or so close to bedtime that you will be awakened by the need for a trip to the bathroom.
• Lighten up your evening meals avoiding foods that cause indigestion and finish dinner several hours before bedtime.
• A quiet, dark, cool bedroom with a comfortable mattress will help promote sound slumber.

Your bedroom should be your personal sleep sanctuary, a cozy and comfortable environment that is conducive to relaxation and restorative sleep. It can also be a safe and accessible environment by using furnishings that don't make it hard for you to get in or out of, and with flooring that will not pose a risk of falling. Take a look at our photo gallery of safe and accessible bedrooms and bathrooms for seniors.

Caring For a Parent With Dementia and Providing a Safe Environment for Them

Here is a link to an article that offers good advice on what to do to make caring for a parent with dementia easier. One of the things on the list is "Providing a safe environment for your parent." Universal Design features such as a step-free entrance, large bathroom grab bars, non-slip floors and even elevators and "chair-vators" can all help make make your home a safer environment.  Learn more about Universal Design.

Read article about Caring for a Parent with Dementia

PRODUCT RECALLS: FAN HEATERS

Fans, heaters
About 92,000 TrueLiving Heater Fans and Portable Quartz Radiant Heaters from Florida-based Atico International USA. Atico has received nearly three dozen reports of the heaters or heater fans overheating, reports that included a minor injury and some damage.

The heaters were sold at Dollar General Stores from September to December 2010. Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled heaters and return them to any Dollar General Store for a full refund. Details: by phone at 866-448-7856.

PRODUCT SAFETY RECALLS

Alcohol Prep Pad Safety Recall Update: Eli Lilly and Company warns that patients should not use the alcohol prep pads made by the Triad Group that are contained in the black starter kits for Forteo® [teriparatide (rDNA origin) injection] in the United States. The alcohol prep pads were recalled by the Triad Group due to contamination with Bacillus cereus.

Pharmaceutical Product Safety Recall: American Regent recalls all unexpired lots of Dexamethasone Sodium Phosphate Injection, USP, 4 mg/mL, 1 mL Single Dose Vials; 5 mL and 30 mL Multiple Dose Vials, because some vials of these lots either contain particulates or have the potential to form particulates prior to their respective expiration dates.

Subscribe to the Senior Wellness Specialists Blog to get updates on Product Recalls and other useful information.

WHAT IS UNIVERSAL DESIGN?

Universal design refers to broad-spectrum architectural planning ideas meant to produce buildings, products and environments that are inherently accessible to both the able-bodied and the physically disabled.

Blending aesthetics into core considerations that offer broader accessibility movement and barrier-free concepts, Universal Design is not only pleasing to the eye, but helps people stay in their own home as long as possible.

According to an AARP survey, almost 90 percent of adults 50+ prefer to stay in their homes as long as possible.

While the homes of many older adults have some accessibility features, a great number lack features that make a home universally designed or even visitable.

Homes that lack important ease of use and convenience features may make it difficult for older residents to bathe, use stairs, enter and exit, or meet other daily needs. Such barriers may precipitate an unwanted or premature move to an assisted living facility or to an institutionalized setting, which can limit independence and be emotionally taxing and financially burdensome. Through home modifications (i.e., custom remodeling for a specific resident’s needs) or the adoption of improved standards in new home construction, universal design and visit-ability features can enhance functionality, independence, and safety for everyone. These features thus enable older adults to age in place and allow people with disabilities to remain involved in family and community life.

View our Universal Design Photo Gallery.


What areas of your home do you think could be improved?  
Please leave us a comment below.